Sticks and Stones

Several months ago, I got a friend request on FaceBook from my biggest bully in elementary school and middle school.  He tormented me like I can't describe.  Simply God-awful.  I used to start my mornings staring at the clock, thanking God for every minute that passed where a snide remark about my weight wasn't made (Yeah, I was the fat kid in school ), yet knowing it was coming eventually.  And oh, how my blood ran cold at the initials "P.E."  That's when the pain really began because the whole class would join in on the mockery.  I came home in tears many days and it lasted for years.  I remember in particular coming home one day so happy and excited, saying, "Mom!  Not a single person called me fat today!"  Yep, that was really the highlight of my day back then.

Anyway, I debated long and hard whether I should accept or ignore it.  Eventually, I decided to accept it.  I'm still not sure why; perhaps my eternally optimistic nature overrode any logic I might have had.  A few more months passed and I decided I would send him a note asking why he'd want to be friends on FaceBook since I was sure he hated me.

He replied back that he did not hate me, and he apologized for everything he'd put me through.  The whole message wasn't longer than a paragraph, but those few sentences really released from me a lot of hurt I'd been carrying with me since I was just a child.  For so long after school, I dreamt of how I could get revenge.  I even had idle fantasies of going on the Maury show in those special episodes they have where offbeat kids are bullied and strutting my stuff, saying, "See?  See?  Remember when you told me I couldn't lose weight even if I tried?  Remember when you said..."  

And yet, despite all that anger and all that torment that had been with me for so long, I was able to let it go and forgive in just a few moments, from a few sentences.  It's interesting that my biggest sin is wrath, and yet I'm very quick to forgive if the person makes an effort to mend the damage.  And I can honestly say I do forgive him.

We were kids.  Kids do mean things.  It's part of life.  But it feels good to finally set right years of wrong.  And you know, if I had the chance to go back and do it differently, I wouldn't change it at all because those experiences have helped shape me into who I am today, and I like who I have become.  I can sleep at night.  Those experiences taught me how to not treat other people, and what to do if I saw others being bullied.  Without being humbled, I may have even become a bully myself!  But we all have our crosses to bear, and bullies have a different set of lessons they must learn I'm sure.

What about you?  Were you bullied?  Did you bully others?  Do you still carry around anger or guilt from the things that occurred as a child?  Would you change your childhood experiences?